Facebook Voyeur

Like 200,000,000 others on the planet, I have a Facebook account. (See Is Facebook Growing Up Too Fast? ) Jill, a friend and colleague, first invited me to join Facebook in the late spring of 2007 when she tagged me in a photo of her, Jennell, and me on a boat at the Great Barrier Reef after our trip there together over Christmas Break, 2006. I declined. That summer I visited Bali with an Intrepid Travel tour group, and all the twenty-somethings insisted that the best way for us to share photos would be on Facebook. Still, though, I didn’t sign up until May, 2008, after a second trip to Australia over spring break that year. Once again, a group I spent time with on a three-day live-aboard at the Great Barrier Reef concurred that the best way to share photos would be via Facebook. Although I missed that sharing—except by way of what Jennell, who had joined Facebook, subsequently shared with me—it catalyzed more serious consideration of the Facebook proposition on my part.

As one who tends to find photographs of myself somewhat unsettling and as one who has become quite skilled at avoiding a camera lens pointed in my direction, I found the expectation of posting a profile photo of myself rather disconcerting. In fact, I endured three to four months of ribbing and hassling from various “friends” because I retained the Facebook generic “male” silhouette arbitrarily presented by Facebook in the photo position of one’s profile when one joins until the time one sees fit to upload something from one’s own sources. Eventually I remembered that Jennell had “painted” a photo she took of me during our first trip to the Great Barrier Reef: I am sitting in a chair on the rear deck of the boat, staring into the middle distance at the reef and the sea; it is between dives—in my case, “snorkels”—so I wear a sun hat, bathing suit, and a sarong.


Now I just get asked how I made the photo like that.

As my one year anniversary on Facebook approaches, I realize I am mostly a voyeur on Facebook. People often tell me I’m rather mysterious, such a private person. I do know that I have little desire to write anything in that status box attached to my Facebook pages; broadcasting what I’m doing or thinking to such a public forum unnerves me. I will use chat, send messages, and write comments—even on a friend’s “status” statement—but I have little inclination to present much information to all my Facebook friends in one glorious announcement in my status box. Actually, I wonder why someone would even want to know that I ate a chicken quesadilla for dinner, just finished running, or that I am in the middle of watching an episode of Lost! However, I have no qualms about exploring the status updates and subsequent commentary presented by others on their pages.

Facebook quizzes frustrate me; they are so manipulative and so limiting. I don’t understand the point of “poking” someone, and I no longer accept stuff like “flair” or any other virtual gifts or trinkets connected to holidays, causes, or groups. I have no idea what to do with it all and no real interest in learning. And another thing, do guys send all this virtual stuff to Facebook friends? I only receive it from female Facebook friends… although I have begun to see a decline in the stuff sent my direction… probably because I ignore it. I do play Kidnap—most likely because it involves geography and travel trivia—and I like looking at photos people post.

What fascinates me most about Facebook is what I like best about it, too: the opportunity to have a link to the people who have spaces in the design of your life. Numberwise, I don’t have the legions of Facebook friends that many others do, yet I am in awe when I review my list of friends. Some are people whose connection to me I believed would now only be in memory. Over a third of my Facebook friends are former students, and there is a real sweetness for a teacher to receive a query from a former student who wants to remember together with me and/or catch up with each other’s life. Particularly amazing for me has been the students I taught my first year at Ulm American High School who have found me on Facebook; we were together in a classroom over twenty years ago!

Even if I’m not one to actively solicit Facebook friendships, post much in the way of pictures or words, participate in Facebook games and activities, or support various causes in the Facebook forum, I do relish my voyeuristic moments when I log in to Facebook... pretty much once a day!